Oneshots to make me feel happy
so basically this happens: * monokuma locked everyone in a school * and hes making everyone form friendships * i dont * k * ogmgoreodifjds * u already know what the first oneshot is right * ur not a fucking moron right * hmm * k lets get on with this * bitch 1. Rantom Tom is in the dining room being fat. TOM: WOW IM USELESS Suddenly Atua shows up. RANTARO: Hey Tom TOM: HDHWEUDHUWIHDUIASHDIHWDUIWHIWEUHDWUIEYUGFYUEGUYDWGDQWGY RANTARO: um... ok? TOM: UGH BE NORMAL BE NORMAL TOM: Hi Rantaro... sup? idk how to fucniton what HELP ME SIS RANTARO: Oh, I just needed ur help with some-- TOM: YES, i mean but if its something like running ro whatever its useless im a fat blob RANTARO: no ur not TOM: yes i am RANTARO: no ur not TOM: yes i am RANTARO: no ur not TOM: yes i am RANTARO: no ur not TOM: yes i am RANTARO: no ur not TOM: yes i am RANTARO: no ur not TOM: yes i am RANTARO: no ur not TOM: yes i am RANTARO: no ur not TOM: yes i am RANTARO: no ur not TOM: yes i am DEADPOOL: quality writing over hear RANTARO: no ur not TOM: yes i am RANTARO: no ur not TOM: yes i am RANTARO: no ur not TOM: yes i am RANTARO: no ur not TOM: yes i am RANTARO: no ur not TOM: yes i am RANTARO: no ur not TOM: really? RANTARO: ur actually... not that bad of a runner TOM: ok can U JUST TELL ME WHAT THE DMAN PROBLEM IS RANTARO: look, i just needed ur help solving this puzzle thing TOM: um, idk if u noticed but Tom points to his Certified Dumbass Badge, given to him by one of his besties Mandy. RANTARO: '''stop doing that '''TOM: doing what RANTARO: '''that '''TOM: what RANTARO: '''that '''TOM: what RANTARO: '''that '''TOM: what RANTARO: '''that '''TOM: what RANTARO: '''that '''TOM: what DEADPOOL: SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY SMH TOM: '''w h a t '''RANTARO: downgrading urself, i know u have intelligence and skills TOM: jesus uhaidsuidhsuiahuiqwhiushwquishqiuwhwqueidhwei RANTARO: look are u stressed or soemthing? ohh, i get it... u dont like my presence TOM: whAT NO THATS CLEALRY THE WORONG I DEA WPFJDWDJWIOJDIOQWNJDIUOWNHDOI RANTARO: then, whats the issue? TOM: look, its just... ur fucking hot ok?? Tom blushes very hardly as he says this and Rantaro looks at him, lowkey shooketh. RANTARO: '''Oh um... so that's it, huh? '''TOM: ugh i just... its that ur just fuckign perfect, ya know? RANTARO: wha... TOM: and ur so nice, a true cinnamon roll... RANTARO: well... its not like... TOM: its not like what? RANTARO: im definetly far from perfect TOM: sure jan RANTARO: then... how about u spend some time with me tomorrow? TOM: wat RANTARO: i mean... then ull figure out that im not perfect TOM: w a t RANTARO: tom, im just asking u to TOM: DOES NOT COMPUTE TOM: I REPEAT, DOES NOT COMPUTE RANTARO: '''look maybe, u can call it a... d-- '''TOM: DATEKDWHUIDHIUHSWIUHSWIQUDHWEIUHDSUEIFHESUDIHNSUHKJWHDIOWQHWEUIEWHIFWEYR RANTARO: well RANTARO: i guess TOM: ogmismolajioqwjoiqjsoiwqjd Rantaro looks at a fuckign apeshit Tom and starts laughing. RANTARO: ur a funny person, tom... i can tell were gonna spend some good times together TOM: ...really? RANTARO: yes... TOM: u fucking liar dirty son of jesus, dirty fuckign atua... see ya tomorrow Tom goes away as his mind explodes. AUTHOR'S NOTE: and then tom woke up "wow yay my life is still trash" 2. Clairaka Ishimaru is outside Claire's dorm, preparing himself to talk to her. See he has a huge fuckign bigass crush on Claire but like iTS NOT HAPPENIGN BC FUCKING IS NOT WELCOME IN A SCHOOL ENVIRONMENT---'' ''Taka knocks on Claire's dorm door. TAKA: 'Miss Longobardi? ''Suddenly an annoyed Claire, cosplaying as a Winx whore, shows up screamign. '''CLAIRE: yah whaT U FUCKIGN LITTLE-- oh... taka... haii! TAKA: Um, what's happening ins-- wait... are you...? CLAIRE: Am I...? TAKA: Oh, PLEASE PUNISH ME FOR HAVING SUCH THOUGHTS! CLAIRE: lmao taka, im just dancing to the winx theme song... TAKA: WINX IS NOT WELCOME IN A SCHOOL ENVIRONMENT CLAIRE: '''Taka, we're literally stuck in a school with a creepy bear with no studying. Loosen up! The situation could be worse ya know '''TAKA: Oh... um... well... I just wanted to... discuss... STUDY! I WANTED TO STUDY WITH YOU! CLAIRE: what TAKA: oh you know... i mean... um... TAKA: Wait, you're italian right? CLAIRE: no im spanish TAKA: ...really? CLAIRE: lmao no im just messing with you TAKA: MESSES ARE NOT WELCOME IN A SCHOOL ENVIRONMENT CLAIRE: then why is hagakure here taka... loosen up... WAIT I HAVE AN IDEA! Claire pulls Taka to the bedroom and closes the door. TAKA: Miss Longobardi...? CLAIRE: omg just call me claire... Claire grabs her laptop and they spend the rest of their afternoon bingewatching Winx episodes and "thatsideofutube 2" videos. TAKA: Wow... I have no idea how to feel about that... CLAIRE: oh, oops I must've driven off topic... Why did you come here? TAKA: o-oh, w-well... I-I j-just... d-don't-on't kn-know... y-ya kn-know? CLAIRE: ... TAKA: Oh, here's an excuse! I want to learn Italian! CLAIRE: lmao... ok! Claire proceeds to tell him these words. CLAIRE: Ciao, mi chiamo Clara Longobardi e amo succhiare il cazzo! TAKA: Well... I am pretty sure Ciao means hello or hi... mi chiamo must be my name is because you said your name afterwards... succhiare kind of sounded like... suck? B-But th-that's n-not wha-what I-I........... CLAIRE: Wow you're pretty clever! All of the words you guessed, you got right! Impressive... TAKA: So... wait... even the succhiare?? CLAIRE: Yep... All right... TAKA: So what does the rest mean? Claire seductively gets up from the bed she was sitting in, gets on her knees and unties Taka's belt. CLAIRE: you're a smart cookie... figure it out ;) AUTHOR'S NOTE: this was l e w d i dont like it 3. Kokeisha Trixie the Fat Housewife's daughter, Keisha, is walking around the school looking for bleach cause she was forced to spend time with Hagakure. Suddenly someone hits her with a Panta bottle. KEISHA: MSBHQAWOH KOKICHI: Nishishi, slut KEISHA: oh wow if it isnt the thirsty twink KOKICHI: and heres fattie fat keisha, hows ur mom doing btw? KEISHA: FUCK OFF KEISHA: So how are you and Shui-- oh wait, that's right, he dumped you for Kaede. Well what about Amam-- OH THAT'S RIGHT, he prefers discount Honey Boo Boo over you. KOKICHI: WHORE I have FIFTY BILLION BOYFRIENDS, unlike your bitch ass that sucks her cousin KEISHA: i dont even have a cousin KOKICHI: k sis KOKICHI: my point is that even when im rejected, i still get more dick than you KEISHA: whose dick tho? gonta's? Suddenly Gonta enters the room. GONTA: gonta is a gentleman Gonta leaves. KEISHA: if only guys were gentlemen KOKICHI: omg wait i know that i wanna fucking kill u but lets have a threesome with gokuhara KEISHA: umm KOKICHI: 'oh cmon dont act like u aint thirsty ''Keisha thinks. '''KEISHA: k KOKICHI: First one to get to Gonta takes the cumshot! AUTHOR'S NOTE: what did i just write its kokichis lie anyways 4. Rantom: The Squeakquel So one day after Rantaro had invited Tom to hang out, Tom showed up in Rantaro's dorm. TOM: k so.... RANTARO: Wow, you look good in those clothes TOM: um k, and you look fucking hot as usual RANTARO: Ha... I, um... TOM: sorry, am I being too awkward already, fml RANTARO: no, it's just you were um... so direct TOM: so i was unbelievably awkward RANTARO: I think it's kinda cute TOM: fUCK Tom ends up a blushing mess. TOM: So, Rantaro... What are you planning on doing? RANTARO: Welp, I just figured we could hang out around the school and I could, I don't know, cook you something? TOM: oh ok RANTARO: Ugh, I knew I should've put more effort into it, but-- TOM: No no, it's fine... After all I'm here to spend time with you. RANTARO: oh well in that case They head to the dining room and Rantaro cooks them something. TOM: holy shit you're a really good cock-- I MEAN COOK FUCK RANTARO: hahaha... what's going on in that mind of yours TOM: WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT UM NOTHING NOTHING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING LMFAO LMFAO LMFAO LMFSO PODWHEUIHFUWEIHFUIERH RANTARO: calm down, i'm just teasing you... Suddenly Crim walks in. CRIM: um CRIM: enchante Crim leaves. TOM: well um... RANTARO: No but I actually used to cook for my sisters TOM: Oh yeah, you have sisters... RANTARO: ...yep. Rantaro gives Tom a sad face for a split second, then he changes into his usual chill self. RANTARO: well, um, lets go somewhere else They walk around Hope's Peak, and they decide on going to the library. RANTARO: Woah, this library is sweet TOM: '''lowkey creeps me out tho '''RANTARO: well its not like someone can get murdered in a library with a shot put ball by the mastermind right right right TOM: huh? RANTARO: wait what did i just say RANTARO: well whatever so-- Rantaro accidentally drops a book. He picks it up while Tom stares at his ass. TOM: Ok... can I just be honest here for a sec? Rantaro gets up. TOM: Of all people, why me? I mean there's a thousand more interesting and... better looking people to be around with, why are you hanging out with someone obviously out of your league? Plus there's the fact that I like you and I mean... How are you not creeped out by that? RANTARO: welp... I guess it's just I really find you fun and cute TOM: ...really? how? RANTARO: I know deep inside you're a genuinely sweet person and the way you just deny that you're amazing and just idolize me even though... Even though... Rantaro looks sad and sits on one of the chairs. RANTARO: Even though I'm not... an amazing person. In fact, I'm a dumbass. Rantaro explains to Tom his whole sister thing... RANTARO: And that's why I just can't protect anyone I care about. Because I acted on impulse. If I hadn't done what I did... she wouldn't have gone missing. TOM: It's not your fault. RANTARO: It is. TOM: It's not. RANTARO: It is. TOM: It's-- wait we're not doing this again just accept it isn't TOM: It's not your fault your sister has gone missing... You wanna hear what's really awful tho? Tom talks to Rantaro all the shit he's done throughout his life. TOM: What kind of sweet person is that? I just... I can't see how someone who genuinely cares about other people would like to be around someone so hypocritical like me... RANTARO: Man, those are just mistakes. We all do them. It doesn't make us hypocrites, it just makes us humans. And from the person I've seen, it looks like you're trying to learn from them. RANTARO: Ha... well... I guess enough sappy bullshit for today, it's getting a bit late. TOM: lmao i'm not sleepy tho... RANTARO: same. Tom and Rantaro spend the rest of their night together, cracking jokes and talking about random shit. As soon as 1 AM hits tho, Tom gets sleepy. TOM: fuck I need to sleep RANTARO: yeah same. Rantaro follows Tom to his dorm. But before Tom enters, he holds Rantaro's hand. TOM: Listen. I had a wonderful time with you. We should do this again... as friends since... you know what it doesn't even matter. But seriously we should do this again sometime. RANTARO: As friends, huh? TOM: yep... unless... Tom goes inside the room. TOM: '''Want... to come in? '''RANTARO: Of course. Rantaro comes into the room and he comes into Tom's mouth hAHA! AUTHOR'S NOTE: my fav bye